Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Food! Glorious Food!

Well, the holidays are upon us already. I know this because Target is all decorated for Christmas. They started this decorating in October. Yes. October. It seems they begin earlier every year. In a few years we will be strolling through the bathing suit section while listening to John Lennon's .." So This is Christmas." (the most overplayed, horrible Christmas song ever, but I don't want to "pull a Target" and bring out the Christmas blog too early, so we will leave that for another day)
For someone like me on a rather restrictive diet, the holidays are going to have a completely different flavor this year...figuratively speaking. Let's review the Thanksgiving menu.....
Turkey..yes...Stuffing...nope....potatoes..a little....gravy...ok...Rolls..nope. Ok, so that's not bad, I can have a nice yummy Thanksgiving dinner, hold the cranberry sauce. But it's not about the meal itself. It's the appetizers. Antipasto is a no-no. So are pigs in a blanket. Stuffed mushrooms are out of the question. I am going to have to come up with some yummy h'orsdouvres that I can make for myself so I don't sit there drooling over the baked clams.
But let's face it...this is really about...the booze.
I haven't had a holiday where I wasn't sitting there enjoying the company of family, sipping a glass of pinot grigio in at least 20 years. So that's really the game changer.

This past weekend, I allowed myself a few drinks at the St. John's Auction. And Jeez did I pay for it on Sunday. I haven't felt that crappy in a long time. My Doc says it's because I have detoxed effectively and now the wine is something that my system really doesn't want any part of. What? Since when does my system not wine? Well, this is certainly new isn't it?
But to be honest, I feel so freaking good the rest of the time, I don't want to buck the trend ya know. I am going to have to give this further analysis. Your input, as always is welcome.
In the meantime, I will be combing the internet for a sugar free, yeast free baked clam recipe.

Friday, October 29, 2010

Halloween Candy!

During the past week, I have had my hands on more candy than you can imagine. On Wednesday, I attended a Business to Business Trade show, where every booth had a huge bowl of candy. At work, every department has candy. Everywhere. Last night, I made 45 goodie bags filled with candy for the kids to take to school. And you know what's amazing. I haven't put one piece of candy in my mouth. Not one. I am really astonished that I am exhibiting so much willpower. Because, to be honest, I usually have ZERO willpower. What's going on here? Who am I and what have I done with Jill Parker? Bizarre.

It's day 13 and I feel pretty freaking good. Mark asked me last night what's different as far as how I have been feeling and there's really three things I've noticed so far.
First, I seem to be much more focused. My head seems, I don't know, more clear. I am not as forgetful. Now, that could be mind over matter, but maybe the sugar and yeast was clogging my brain. Who knows, who cares? I feel better.
Second, I am in a much better mood. I seem to take things in stride better. A broken glass in the sink (which happened last night) doesn't seem to send me into a tizzy. Again, could be mind over matter, but I'm going with it.
Third, and this is really exciting. I really think my psoriasis is improving. Now that's huge. I really hope it continues.

So, today I am headed to the Spaghetti Lunch at the kids school. But this time, rather than scarfing down meatballs with the kids, I have to pack my own lunch. Sure people look at me funny when I take out my Matzoh and my green beans, but I don't care. Because if that's what it takes to continue on this road to health....so be it. And this weekend, we are going trick or treating with our good pals, the Giovinazzi's. Courtney, god love her, is making us a yeast and sugar free dinner on Sunday night before we head out with the kids. Now that's friendship.

And on Sunday, we will come home with a crap-load of candy from our trick or treating. But, this gal won't be eating any. Just imagine how much longer the halloween candy will last since I won't be shoving any down my pie-hole. I'm sure Marker Parker can pick up the slack.....he's a sucker for a tootsie roll.

Have a ghoulish Halloween

Monday, October 25, 2010

A now for something completely different...

Yes, we all know I am yeast and sugar free...blah blah blah...day 9, whatever, it's getting kind of boring and I daresay easy. But then again, talk to me next week when I have to go the St. John's auction and drink club soda...but that's a story for another blog. Today, I wanna talk politics. Well, actually no, I really don't want to talk politics. I am so freaking sick of politics. It happens every November (hell, I've even blogged about it before), but this year it seems to be just a bit more vivid. It's the damn political ads that have me all in a jam.
If I have to watch one more flipping political ad sponsored by the "people for a better society by making Jill Parker freaking nuts society" I am going to go out of my mind. Every 5 seconds, on the radio, on the tv....another ad...."Paul Lepage hates puppies!" "Libby Mitchell voted to take diabetic's insulin away!." "Elliot Cutler once dressed in drag" ENOUGH ALREADY.
Now, here's my question, is anyone really sitting in their living room watching Wheel of Fortune and when these commercials come on the box, they say...."well gee, I didn't know that Dean Scontras was once a member of a secret society that tortured kittens, he's not getting my vote." REALLY?
And what about the darn questions...Yes on 1, No on 3....Take charge and vote on the resolution not to revoke the legislatures decision to consider possibly allowing indians to play bingo on the reservation. For crying out loud...I can't say Yes or No, I don't even understand the damn question.
Now, everyone that knows the Parkers knows that my husband is a political junkie. He loves politics, and being a conservative, he is particularly loving politics these days. Election night for him is his Super Bowl. He will stay up late to see whether the Republicans take West Virginia (why?). Heck, sometimes I make him wings and Nachos while he watches the returns. It's his night. And it gives me joy to see him so happy when the "right" candidates win as it gives him hope that the country is moving in the right direction, hopefully away from socialism. It's like a wife enjoying when her husband's team wins the super bowl.
But this joy will pale in comparison to the unbridled happiness I will feel on November 3rd, when political commercials are off the TV and I can go back to watching inane "Snuggie" ads which are so darn clever.
My name is Jill Parker, and I approve this message.

Saturday, October 23, 2010

1 Week Down....11 to Go!

Saturday night and I have completed the first week of my yeast free and sugar free diet. So far so good. A few bumps in the road, but I am feeling pretty good. The headache is gone and my energy seems to be improving. I spent most of my day cooking today, I have found planning is critical in order to ensure that I don't get derailed. It's critical that I have my lunchbox filled with healthy foods so I don't get stuck heading out into the "processed world" for lunch. So, today I made pumpkin soup to eat for lunch. Yummy and rich, it really doesn't even taste like "diet food"
Tonight was a big test for me....I made Paella. If you have ever made Paella, you know it is a extensive cooking effort. Lots of chopping and prep work before you throw the whole thing together. Now, any other Saturday night, I would be prepping, chopping and sipping Pinot Grigio. But not tonight. I was sipping ice water while doing my prep work. And when it came time to sit down to dinner (which kicked ass, I might add) I had a nice wine glass of skim milk rather than Riesling. I have to admit it was a bit weird, but dinner was so damn good, that I seemed to manage.
So, one week down and many more to go. I am really starting to feel confident in my ability to do this. Let's hope I feel the same way in week 7 huh?

Thursday, October 21, 2010

Nutritionist Today

I am off to meet with the Nutrition Counselor this morning. So many questions.....
Can I drink coffee? (the answer had better be yes)
What's the story with cheese?
Is Dairy a problem?
I read that Vodka isn't fermented......please tell me that's true?

Well, you get the idea. I am now on Day 5 of my journey and I must say, I feel pretty good. The headache seems to have subsided and I definitely haven't felt deprived. I still have that alien living in my stomach but he seems a bit subdued today. That's a good sign.

I still can't get over the outpouring of support from friends and family since I hopped on this wagon(no pun intended). I have had folks sending me information and offers of support. Friends have offered to cook for me and want to know what I can and can't eat. I really can't get over the thoughtfulness of my pals. And of course, Mark is being so supportive. He is making every effort to encourage me all the time....awesome.

Since it's Thursday, it's time to prepare for the first hurtle....Friday night without a glass of wine. I anticipate that I will likely need to go to bed around 6:00 PM in order to pass this milestone with minimal crankiness. I hope my family understands.

Well, off to see the Nutrition lady...wish me luck


Tuesday, October 19, 2010


As I wade my way through the minefield that is my refrigerator, or "frigidaire" as I like to call it, I find that I have many more questions than answers. Eggs? Yes or No? What about berries? Fine for the Yeast deal, but not so great for the sugar. I am really looking forward to my meeting with the nutrition counselor on Thursday so I can get answers to these pressing questions. In the meantime, I am eating matzoh's and tomato juice......doesn't that sound appetizing? I suppose I just have to adopt the "passover" diet. The good news is the fact that I feel that Mr. Manischewitz was a genius and Thin Matzohs are the "unleavened experience of a lifetime."
Last night's dinner was good too...grilled chicken, rice (I think I can have that) and broccoli. Not too shabby. Of course the kids would have prefered for the chicken to be covered in bread crumbs and fried....but alas...that's not in the cards.
So my doc told me that when I "got off the yeast" my stomach would "literally scream for yeast" as you cut off it's supply. Jeez, she wasn't kidding. I was sitting at my desk yesterday and my stomach was literally SHOUTING at me. It was weird. I felt like that guy in Alien and I began to worry that a small creature was going to crawl right outta my belly button. Bizarre. From what I understand, that goes away in a few days thank goodness!

Ok, now to my mania.....my biggest fear.....through my research it would appear that coffee is supposed to be off limits. All I can say is.....COME ON! Really? My coffee? I think I am making enough sacrifices can't I at least keep the G.D. Coffee? Please? I intend to get to the bottom of this with the nutrition counselor on Thursday and I am putting together a strong case in the defense of coffee as a way to maintain my sanity. (I was also thinking of a similar case for Xanax as well, but I don't think that will fly :-)

Any yeast free/sugar free food ideas are always welcome from my loyal followers (rather follower-thanks Suz!)

Have a yeast free day!

Sunday, October 17, 2010

And away we go.....

Let's start at the beginning. I feel like crap. I have for about 18 months. General fatigue, joint pain, stomach problems, hot flashes, heart palpitations, dizziness, low energy, insomnia, the whole shooting match. I have been to see my G.P. at least 6 times during the past two years for a variety of symptoms. Each time, they would review what was currently bothering me, write me a script for some drug, and send me on my way. I have prescriptions for muscle relaxers, beta blockers, birth control pills (hello, no longer necessary thanks), and SSRI's. But, it occurred to me that my Managed Care Facility was treating my symptoms in a vacuum and they definitely were not connecting the dots.
That's when I heard about Women to Women Healthcare in Yarmouth....W2W was founded by Dr. Christiane Northrup of "Women's Bodies, Women's Wisdom" fame. I read alot about how W2W takes a Wholistic approach to healthcare and I was intrigued. I made an appointment and waited with eager anticipation. During my first appointment, I spent almost 90 minutes there talking with staff about every aspect of my health. When was the last time you spent 90 minutes talking to a doctor......I am used to getting about 12 minutes, if I am lucky.
Anyway, they did a bunch of blood work and ordered a bunch of other tests, determined to get to the bottom of my general malaise (great word huh?)
Now, the tests weren't easy. The three day stool sample was downright horrifying (TMI?). Glucose testing took a ton of time and all these tests were making me feel a bit like a pincushion, but I was hopeful that this would reap some good information.
Fast forward to this past Friday. I went back to get the results and the action plan. Driving there that morning, I had sense that things were not gonna be good. Don't know why...sixth sense I guess. Sure enough.....mild type II diabetes and Candida Albicans, which is an overgrowth of yeast throughout the digestive tract.
BTW, I have decided from now on, I am going to prounounce Diabetes just like Wilford Brimley on those Liberty Medical commercials "Dy a Beet Us"
So, I got a new prescription. But this one doesn't get filled at the Pharmacy. I have to give up Sugar and Yeast for three months. Gotta get things back on track... because the alternative is just counting the days until I get full on Type II diabetes and become insulin dependent.....Nice.

So, I am trying to learn what the heck I actually can eat. Cuz guess what........Yeast is in freaking EVERYTHING!!! Here are just a few fun things that I am not allowed to eat......Bread, vinegar, Ketchup, Mayonaise, Cheese....aw hell, just about everything. I can eat meat and green vegetables. That's pretty much it.
Oh, and wait for the kicker......No booze......nada zip... no wine, no beer, no vodka, nothing fermented....which is....everything alcoholic. Those of you who know me well, know that I enjoy my wine. It's true, I do....but I wanna feel better more than I want to drink, so I am resolving to stay on this regimen for the full three months. Through the holidays....I gotta be nuts. Or completely sane, depending on how you look at it.

Of course you know, I hate to do these things alone... so I am bringing all my faithful friends along for the ride. If you wanna come, just check out my blog occasionally. I will keep you posted on my progress and hopefully give you a chuckle or two.

Yours in "Dy a beet us"